Trinity Mount Ministries

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

What do you do when your child cries?



We've been getting a lot of great questions and feedback on
our facebook fan page
Here's something that many mothers have said...

"I find it hard to listen to my child when they cry, do you have
any suggestions to help me?"






Well, listening is a learned skill and doesn't come over night. And
because so many of us were raised in households that suppressed
emotions and crying - it's very common that parents have a hard
time listening to a child's tears.
Here are a couple of tips to help:
1) Be with your child as much as you can while listening.
2) Tenderly hold or touch your child - like a hand on the shoulder.
3) Breathe deeply
4) Remember that you're supporting your child - and imagine how
nice it would feel if someone was there with you to listen when you
when you're upset?

Also, notice your tendency to distract your child from crying.
Such as giving them treats, toys, initiating a game, etc.

Instead of distracting, try listening, it will make a world of difference
and bring you and your child closer.

If you have listened for a while and can't listen for any longer
without getting upset or angry then take a break... and gently
move your child's focus into something that they may find
interesting.
Note that if you've listened for a while, your child may feel
incredibly close and connected with you. He or she may also
feel a little tender and vulnerable and may want to stay close
to you. So make sure that if you need space afterwards that
you gently guide your child to another activity.
And that you stay in close communication with your child...
like: "Sweetie, I have to start making dinner now... so I'm going
to set you up at the kitchen table with a few crayons and 3 pieces
of paper - I want you to make me three nice pictures while I
cook dinner. Then after dinner, we'll look at them together... come
on..."

You will have many opportunities to listen to your child. Also, you
may want to explore your own childhood and how you were
treated when you were upset.
Look for the patterns in how your parents were with you,
and how you treat your child.

Enjoy being a parent - it's a special time in your life.
The Parent Learning Club Team
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